How To Win Your Boyfriend Back
by ColourMyWorld
Summary: By the author of How To Be Gorgeous, How To Be Popular, and How To Fall In Love, comes a new book, written by experience. A guide on how to win your boyfriend back when he gets stolen by a bimbo. The target: Nick. The thing in the way: Penny. -NiLEY-
1. Lets Get Started

**How To Win Your Boyfriend Back**

**Let's Get Started **

**By the author of How To Be Gorgeous, How To Be Popular, and How To Fall In Love, comes a new book, written by experience. A guide on how to win your boyfriend back when he gets stolen by a bimbo. The target: Nick. The thing in the way: Penny. -NiLEY-**

**A/N: Haaaaii. Soo, this is a new story idea I've got. It's gonna be a funny type. I've never tried that, and it'll be a breath of fresh air from my other stories. I'm just posting the first chapter atm. Three stories is too much. I'll occasionally update, like once a month, till I've finished one of them. I reallly hope you guys like this idea :) P.S: I wasn't sure who Nick's fave band/Singer is, so I made it up, and put Radiohead.**

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

_**Miley**_

Okay, so I haven't exactly _lost _him. And that big breasted bimbo hasn't exactly _stolen _him from me. He's still my boyfriend. Or claims to be anyway. But she's practically stolen him from me. He ignores me now. _For her._

Now trust me, I'm not the aggressive type, but that girl... I wanna tear her head off. Seriously. Not that I'd be very successful or anything, but you know what they say. It's the thought that counts!

So you're probably wondering by now what he possibly could've done that would make me think I lost him. Well, let me fill you in on the details, my dear eager little ninjas. So get this, they met in one of those little, private music studios we have here in this school, while she was practising to play guitar. He was just too amazed at this, and he walked in and listened to her. They got to talking, and learnt they have all the same interests. How convenient. They both loving golfing, playing guitar, writing stupid-but-I-still-love-and-make-me-smitten songs, and Radiohead. Isn't that just perfect?

If you weren't smart enough to notice, from the words from **so get this **till the words **that just perfect **were all said in an extremely sarcastic tone.

Kay?

So as I was saying, they seem perfect for each other, in a totally sucks for me way. Which sucks for me. And if this wasn't enough... _Nick wrote a song for her. _

This sucks. I mean, I know he's written plenty of songs for me and everything, but I'm his girlfriend! He's supposed to write songs for me, it's practically job. And if that wasn't crushing enough, he wrote her a... brace yourselves... a love song.

Now, I was planning on questioning him about what the hell he was doing, and giving him the if-your-gonna-write-her-love-songs-then-why-don't-you-make-her-your-girlfriend speech, but then he'd wonder how I find out.

Because I kinda, sort of, spied on him. And he'd never ever ever forgive me if he found out. Because he'd accuse me of not trusting him. I _do _trust him. It's that bitch I don't trust.

And next week, they're going to see Radiohead together in concert. Sure, I've told him never to ask me because I hate them, but why did he have to ask her? They're practically going on a date.

Eww. Ugh. Gross.

So I've decided I'm going to get him back, whatever it takes. I'm not gonna let her have the satisfaction of stealing my boyfriend. He was mine first and I plan on keeping it that way. Just like I've done many times in the past, I've conjured up a step by step foolproof plan that will guarantee him back in my arms.

Take that Penny.

So, on to step one: Get implants.

I know, I know, it seems a little crazy and _far fetched, _but she has like ginourmous breasts. What if he likes that kind of thing? And if I have them too, then he'll think, 'why did I ever want her'?

See? It makes perfect sense.

So that's why I'm currently seated in my GP's, waiting oh so patiently for me to hurry the hell up, since I'm way more important than the rest of these fuckers.

Luckily my GP is a girl, so it won't be that mortifying and embarrassing. I'll just tell her I really want to get implants, I'm just stupid and I don't know how exactly. And so I came to her for advice. She'll understand perfectly fine.

"Miley Stewart." The middle aged secretary called out from behind her desk. She offered me a smile, patting her bobbed grey hair.

Sexy.

Okay, that was uncalled for. It's just there's so many old men with me in this waiting room, and she's old, and... you get the picture.

"Thanks." I returned her smile, to make it up for my _crude _comment. I knocked at the door with Dr Williams on the door.

"Hi Miley." She greeted me pleasantly as she opened up the door. "Take a seat." She nodded towards the chair opposite hers, with a barely visible desk drowning in paperwork between them.

After sitting down, I started my plan, and began to babble annoyingly fast. "Hi Doc, so your probably wondering why I'm here. Well I'll tell you why I'm here. You see, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've decided that since I'm 17 now, I should do something completely irresponsible and spontaneous that I'll regret for the rest of my life. It took me a long time to think of something that fitted all these requirements, but I finally found one, and I need your help. You see, I wanna get implants, but I'm extremely stupid, as you already know, and I need your help on how to get them."

"Implants?" She asked in disbelief, crossing her arms against her chest. "Oh Miley, that's a really bad idea. You don't need implants." She shook her head in disappointment. "You know better than anyone that you have to accept who you are, and love the skin your in."

"But..." My face fell. I forgot how much like my mum she really is. That's probably why my mum loves her _so _much.

Oh shit. I forgot about my mum. If she finds out, I'm gonna be grounded till I'm 36. Maybe even 40.

"You know what? Your right, this is a stupid idea. Implants? God, what was I thinking?" I scoffed, standing up hurriedly. "Well, I gotta go, bye!"

I legged it out of there so fast, I think I just completed my exercise of the month.

And guess who I bumped into? No, bumped isn't the right word. The right word would be _crashed. _

"Miley?" My apparent boyfriend exclaimed, a smile appearing on his too-gorgeous face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing by, and thought I'd drop in and say hi to my doctor, you know, because I haven't seen her in ages." I bluffed quickly, my cheeks warming up and probably turning beetroot red for two reasons. One, because I'm not a very good liar, and two, because my body is pretty much pressed up against his.

"Oh, okay." He nodded, indicating he didn't believe me but was gonna let it slip. This time, anyway. "Well I'm here because my sister had the most insane and stupid idea she's ever had." He chuckled to himself.

"And that is?" I asked.

"She wants to get implants." He emphasized on the last word, to show how ridiculous he though it was. "She reckons her boyfriend would like her better if she had them. Isn't that so stupid?"

Well I guess that's off the list.

My face turned even redder, most probably giving me away, and I stuttered out a reluctant "Yeah..."

"Your still coming over tonight, right?" He asked.

I almost forgot I was having dinner with his family tonight. Perfect for my next step, which will hopefully go a bit better than this one did.

"Yeah." I replied. "Well, I have to dash, I have things to do, but I'll see you tonight."

"I have to go too, back to the insane sister. See you later." He planted a chaste kiss on my lips before walking off.

Take that Penny.

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

**So? Sorry it's kinda crap, I really rushed this. Did you like it? Hope you did. I'll try and update in like, three weeks. But I'll still be updating TPC. And maybe, just maybe, Just Breathe. But I'm not making any promises about that story. And I'd _really _like about 20 reviews, to carry on this story (: xx**


	2. Jealousy Works Wonders

**Hey! So if you've read the latest chapter of the popularity contest, you'll know about my recent absence. Well, if you read my quite harsh profile thing, then you'll already know. Well anyway, I'm trying to update quite a lot now, first because even if fanfiction feels like shit, it's still my escape. And second, because it's the summer holidays soon, and I'm leaving as soon as they start for two weeks. This summer I wanna reinvent myself. Sounds like a cool idea :-) **

**Jealousy Works Wonders**

Time for the second step of my fool-proof plan. Jealousy. I'm really excited for this one, and hopefully it'll go a bit better than the last one did. I pressed the door bell, and waited patiently for an answer.

Or not so patiently.

"I'll get it!" I heard him yell, and within ten seconds, the door swung open, and that gorgeous boy I get to call my boyfriend was standing on the other side.

"Hey Miles!" He hugged me tightly, and then pulled me inside his house.

I really want to just jump on him and kiss him - so bad... but I can't. I have to sacrifice my lack of self control. "Hey Nick." I said absentmindedly, smiling for about a nanosecond before dropping it.

He seemed taken aback by this. Probably because I usually jump on him and kiss him every time I see him. Whatever. I'm not desperate Nick. I have will power, thank you very much.

Then Joe came hopping down the stairs. Hopping, literally. What a fool. A cute fool, but still. And he's nothing compared to his brother.

Oh brother.

"Hey Joe!" I squealed as perkily as I knew how to, running over and hugging him even tighter than Nick hugged me.

Joe's in on the whole thing. He agreed to it because he hates Penny, and he's always up to wind up his brother. Lovely.

"Thanks for doing this again." I whispered in his ear, while smiling giddily the whole time to make it believable.

"No problem, anything to drive Nicky babes insane and up the wall." He chuckle-whispered in my ear.

"Well if it doesn't work, then I'm gonna drive _myself _up the darn wall." I hissed, getting angry at him for no apparent reason.

"Don't need to worry about that, it's working." He whispered in my ear. "He looks so frickin' jealous!"

Er, well maybe that's because we're _still_ hugging?

"You guys done?" An irritated Nick said from behind us. "You saw each other yesterday, not last year." He retorted.

"Now Nick, no need to get your panties in a twist, we were just appreciating each other before its too late." Joe replied, resting his hand on his heart and nodding solemnly.

As a matter of fact, I know he was dying to laugh inside.

"Neither of you are going to die tomorrow." He snapped, crossing his arms across his chest.

"How do you know? Are you God?" I butted into their little dispute, which is probably a bad idea, but my conscience, Billy Slimehead, well it's his day off today, so I'm free to do as I please.

"Are you on his side?" He exclaimed, taken aback.

Hmm... should I say yes, or should I say no? If I say yes, then I'll be making him jealous, but I might be going to far, and make him mad, and then things might get complicated... Plus I don't think making him mad at me is a good idea when I'm trying to _win him back. _

"I don't have a side. I am the middle." I quickly said, and it was the first thing that came to my mind, yes.

His gorgeous turned from a frown into a smile at this, so I made the right decision. "Right then. Since your in the middle, and not on that blob called my brothers side, would you mind sparing a minute of your busy life on me?"

"Errrrrrrrrr." I expanded the word for what seemed like an hour. What to do, what to do.

"Dinners ready kids!" His mum popped her head around the door and announced, beckoning us to come in.

Now I don't have to make a decision!

"Maybe later." I smiled in that annoying way I do at him, before skipping off into the dining room where his mum had set delicious-smelling food down.

"What's next on the heart-shaped agenda?" Joe said in what he thought was a quiet voice as he sat down next to me.

"Ignorance is your new best friend!" I randomly started to sing.

"Right then, ignorance." He nodded, rolling his eyes, since he was used to my weird behaviour.

"Actually no, I have a real idea now." I yanked him closer so I could whisper in his ear. "Make him paranoid. Lets just keep whispering, and he'll want to know what's going on, yada yada yada, the rest is obvious. Ite then lad?"

"Ite lad." He winked, then smirked when he saw Nick watching us.

Then my phone beeped.

From: Nick

What are you talking about?

I made sure Nick wasn't watching, then I showed Joe the message. He suddenly had a 'coughing fit'.

To: Nick

Err, you know, stuff.

From: Nick

What kinda stuff? Is it stuff I know?

To: Nick

Just stuff in general. Like before we were just talking about what to do tomorrow.

From: Nick

You'se are hanging out tomorrow?

To: Nick

Well yeah. Just 'cause your at that concert thing with Penny and I have nothing to do.

From: Nick

Oh right. Its a shame you don't like Radiohead, the concert would be better with you :) You wanna do something afterwards?

To: Nick

It's the school dance afterwards xxxxxxxxxxxx

From: Nick

Perfect ;)

Jealousy really does work wonders. It has him wanting _me _all over again.

**Very short chapter, I know. You all hate me, I also know. But you'll still review right? ;) I would very muchly like 20 reviews for the next chapter :-)**


	3. Your Unbelievable Boy

Today's the day. Well one of them anyway. I reckon it's going to be very eventful. The obvious reason; the school dance. But also because my dad managed to pull some strings and get me two tickets to Stevie Wonder.

Stevie Wonder is like Nicks all time hero. He admires him so much, and he loves him ten times more than stupid old Radiohead.

So the plan is that I'm going to show up at his house ten minutes before he leaves to pick up the wicked witch of the west, looking so fab he won't be able to resist me, and hopefully he'll drop out of his plans, ditch the whore and come to the concert with me instead.

I'm certain he will. I mean obviously I mean more to him than _her. _

Now the plans set, I need to pick a proper sexy outfit. After a lot of thinking, I decided to wear a small fitted t-shirt splattered with paint, blue skinny jeans, a black leather jacket, and red high tops. I curled my hair Taylor Swift style, applied a fair amount of make-up, eye pencil, mascara and lip-gloss. In the end I did look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I better hurry up now before I miss the bus. Just one more week till my new and first car arrives, and then I can finally drive. Anticipating right?

I arrived exactly on time at ten to eleven. I quickly ran up the driveway and knocked a dozen times on the stain glassed door.

Nick answered as per usual, looking gorgeous in a scruffy way. He looked slightly surprised to see me.

"Hey Miley." He smiled pleasantly, hugging me. He smelt so good, and now his scent would rub off on my clothes. I love it when that happens. "You look really pretty." He said sweetly.

"Thanks Nick." I blushed even though I'd been expecting it.

"So you're going to hang out with Joe today?" He asked, ignoring his ringing phone with Penny flashing on and off.

It made me feel good.

"Well actually, my dad got me two tickets to Stevie Wonder, and I was going to go with Joe, but then I remembered how much you love him, so do you want to come with me?" I blabbered out quickly.

"Wow, Stevie Wonder? When is it?" He asked.

"Today." I said as casually as I could manage. "Like right now."

"Today?" He faltered. "I can't."

"How come?" I tried to speak cheerfully, but inside my hopes was sinking.

"I'm going to see Radiohead with Penny today, remember?" He reminded me.

Ugh.

"Oh yeah, I remember." I pretended it had just clicked in my mind. "Well it's not like your standing her up, it's not like a date or anything." Was I trying to convince myself that?

"Hmm." He hesitated again, as though he was considering what it was for the first time. Funny thing is, he never confirmed that it wasn't a date, especially to him. Was this really happening to me?

He looked down, and didn't look back up, so I knew I had to say something.

"I'm sure she'd understand you know." I tried to still act happy but it was getting harder and harder by the second.

"I know, but it would be sly, I would be standing her up, and I can't do that, sorry." He managed a half smile. "Have fun with Joe then." Was the last thing he said before he left.

Wait a minute, did he just admit it was a date?

Well.

"How did it go?" Joe appeared in front of me out of nowhere.

"Let's just say from now on I'm sticking to the plan." My voice cracked, making it evident what happened, but nevertheless I fought back the tears, refusing to cry in front of Joe.

"I'm sorry." He spoke sympathetically, opening up his large arms and offering a hug.

"I can't believe he chose her over me." I whined in his ear, engulfed in his arms.

"Yeah well he's going to regret it, we're going to make him twice as jealous as before." He replied mischievously, his eyes twinkling with evil schemes to make his brother's life a living hell.

And it sure did comfort me that soon he was going to be as miserable as I was at the moment.

Howtowinyourboyfriendback.

My phone started vibrating furiously in my pocket as soon as I re-entered my house. I knew it would be Nick, calling about something or the other. But I'm not in the mood to talk to him at the moment. I just had a great time with Joe. First we went to the concert Nick wouldn't come with me, taking lots of goofy pictures to make Nick jealous, and then we spent the next three hours messing about at his house watching stupid but classic shows like Andy Pandy, Tweenies and Teletubbies.

And now Nick has his fun with Penny he's coming back to me?

"Hello?" I answered the phone like I didn't know who it was even though we both knew I did know. I was then he realized we weren't exactly on good terms.

"Hey Miley, it's me, Nick." He spoke uncertainly, most probably trying to figure what he did wrong, like it wasn't obvious."

"Oh hey Nick." I replied coolly, acting surprised to be hearing from him.

"So I saw the pictures." He paused. "On facebook. Looks like you and Joe had a great time at the concert." He said slowly, as if he was choosing his words carefully.

"Yeah, it was really fun." He gushed. "How was yours?"

He took another long pause, and for what seemed like a lifetime, there was silence.

"It sucked." He finally let out, accompanied with a shaky laugh. "I kind of really regret not going with you know, I mean it would've been really fun with you, because everything's really funny with you." He said sweetly.

"Aww thanks." I felt the heat in my cheeks rising, a dark blush developing.

There was another silence.

"You know I love you right?" He suddenly said, almost reassuringly.

Subconsciously a smile appeared on my face. "Yeah." I half whispered. "And I love you too."

"Good." I heard him say.

"We're still on for the dance tonight, right?" He asked.

" I'm sorry, but I don't think I can." I said truthfully. "You see my mum is at work at like all night and she won't let me go because she doesn't trust me enough and so she won't know what time gets home. "

"Well you can stay the night at mine then, you know since your mum trusts me." I could just picture him smirking obnoxiously as he said that.

"Would your mum let me?" I asked.

"Of course she would, I'll go ask her, and you ask yours." I agreed, put the phone on hold, and quickly ran downstairs to ask my mother dear.

"She said yes." We both said simultaneously, then burst out laughing.

After the laughter died down there was another silence, but not awkward, it was the kind of silence where Nick was thinking.

Mmm.

"Miley." Was all he said.

"Nick." I replied.

"You know today." He said slowly.

"Yeah." I mumbled, wishing I'd forgotten all about today.

"I'm really sorry I wouldn't come with you." There was earnestness in his voice, and I knew he was being completely honest.

"I didn't mind." I lied.

He ignored my comment. "And I don't want you to think I chose Penny over you, because that's not the case, your much more important to me."

"I know." Another lie.

"Well I just wanted to make sure you knew." He replied.

"Well I do." God, I'm really wondering when my nose is going to start growing like a foot long.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Miley?" He said.

"Nick." I pretended like I was getting tired of this game.

"I'm bored." He simply said.

"I don't care." I said in a bored tone.

"Pretend you do then you goose." He laughed at me. Laughed at me. Can you believe it?

"Oh Nick, you poor little _dope!_" I said in the least sympathetic tone I could muster.

"Love you." He said cheekily.

"I know." Finally I got the chance to be obnoxious, woo.

"So what time do you want me to pick you up?" He asked out of the blue.

"Seven." I replied, heaving myself off my comfortable bed so I could go pick my clothes.

"Okay, I can't wait you know, I've really missed you this week."

How sweet could this boy get?

**As you can tell I was getting beyond lazy by the end. It's not very good all together because I rushed it and I just can't be bothered. And because I'm out of practise, if you know what I mean, so I'm writing pretty craply. I'm on holiday at the moment, I have a huge headache because I get travel sick, and right now we're on a ten hour car drive from Canada back to New York where I catch my plane home. I would tell you what I did on holiday these past two weeks but no, to tired, next chapter. Sorry for the lateness of updates, and thanks for all the reviews. Love you all very much. Reviews are appreciated. Say 25 reviews for next chapter?**


	4. Panic & Freak Out

**How To Win Your Boyfriend Back**

**Panic & Freak Out **

**I'M SORRY! Sorry for the long wait! I'm a horrible, horrible HORRIBLE updater. Please don't throw things at me! :'( I know it's been like a fricken year, I apologize. Read my AN at the bottom please. By the way, when you see Penny, imagine her as Blake Lively, because she's who I've based her off. :)**

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

Hello spectators, my name happens to be Miley Stewart and there is a small chance that I'm completely freaking out. And when I say freaking out, I don't just mean small laughable tantrum throwing freaking out because there's no jam left for your toast and you hate butter with a passion but you're going to have to eat it anyway because you don't want to end up practically anorexic like the freaks in your retarded school which you have no choice but to go to, but I mean insane freaking out where you feel like ripping your hair out then ripping your bookcase off your shelf with your bare hands and using it to smash the window, then taking a mad leap out of your window and then running like there's hungry dogs chasing after you to the nearest fishy looking street then buying drugs off fishy looking drug dealers then after you try for about three hours to smoke the stupid joint you throw it in the bin and go buy yourselves some tampons and cheesecake, freak out again because the stupid self-service won't work, and start crying like an emotional pregnant woman and fall asleep underneath your bed with cheesecake crumbs all over your mouth, cuddling up to your stupid tampons.

To make a long story short, which I'm first to admit is a stupid saying, the kind of freaking out you do when you when you're on you're period.

I'm not on my periods, but I am completely going insane because I have no idea what to wear. Penny's going to look amazing, obviously, as it seems to be her mission in life to steal Nick away from me. When he sees how ugly I look in comparison to her, he'll dump me faster than a cheese sandwich.

Don't even ask about my cheese sandwich analogy. Its a very _very _long story.

Anyway, back to my disaster of a life. Nick's going to leave me because I'm going to look dreadful because I have absolutely nothing to wear.

"I got here as fast as I could." My best friend Demi burst into my room, a sight of beauty with her raven locks carelessly thrown back into a messy bun, her beloved Paramore t-shirt half untucked from her dark-washed denim shorts, one sock half way up her leg and the other down her ankle, with untied shoelaces on her Converse.

Yet her boyfriend is still completely in love with her. Not pinning after some big-boobed blond bimbo.

"Demi!" I wailed, practically flinging myself into her welcoming but slightly sweaty from all that running to my house arms. "I'm going to die. Penny's going to look amazing and I'll look ugly and dull and ugh, my life is over!"

"Don't worry." She smirked that smirk of hers, and I knew exactly what it meant; she had a plan. The kind of plan's I deeply dislike, the 'What could possibly go wrong' kind of plans. "You always look amazing Mile. But just in case." She brought a small La Senza bag out from behind her back. "All you need to do is make Nick realize that all he wants is _right here_."

I half-smiled as I caught sight of the lacy red bra inside the bag. "Why do all your plans involve some form of sex in them?" I tried to complain.

"I just think its the perfect way to win him back." She shook my complaints off with a dazzling but devious smile. "I thought this all through. Look underneath, there's another bag, and in it are some totally cute red boy shorts which I had an incredibly hard but thrilling time trying to find." She gave me a look, as if to say _the things I do for you. _"And you know how much boy shorts turn little Nickers on..." She sing songed, twirling uninvited into my bedroom, her eyes grazing over the mess. "I'm guessing you need my help.

I nodded, head hanging low. Boy, did I need her help.

"This should be easy, judging from the vast amount of clothes you own, and how the majority of them are like, on the floor." She shook her head at me with an amused smile. "Okay, try this on.."

This went on for a while. First there was a very short pink and black dress, which looked incredibly sexy, but Demi said that it screamed desperate, and it was the kind of dress you where when you go clubbing, not to a high school dance. Then there was a white sleeveless dress with little red and blue flowers printed all over, which looked quite sweet, but Demi claimed it looked too sweet, and it was more of a dress to wear to the beach. Then there was the black dress, with the black lace tights, but Demi said it was too New York to wear. Whatever she means by that. Then there was the white lacy dress, which I thought looked really pretty, especially since my skin was still quite tan from the holidays, but Demi said it was the kind of dress you wear to a Christmas party.

Finally, she found something appropriate. Please note that I used up a lot of energy stressing on the _finally. _

I was wearing a black dress with tiny little white flowers all over that came just above my thighs, so in other words, quite short, with a fake pearl necklace dangling down, knee high grey socks, and plain black flats.

"See?" She spun me around, admiring her 'creation'. "It's perfect, its elegant and chic, yet it still says that you like to have a good time!"

If you haven't guessed by now, Demi is very interested in fashion, and incredibly good at it.

"Thanks Dem!" I hugged her tightly. "If it wasn't for you, I would've ended up going in my tellytubbies pyjamas, and well, that's not exactly the way to go when competing with stupid ass Penny." I cursed her name under my breath.

"I know." She gloated, flicking back her hair in modesty. Modesty. Why yes, that is the perfect way to describe my best friend. You'll never meet anyone as modest as Demi darling. She's just so modest. She would never even dream of rubbing things in faces. Of course not.

Seriously, get used to the sarcasm, you're in my world now.

"Don't take this the wrong way Dem, just because I'm admitting there is no one better on the planet when it comes to picking clothes does not mean that I'm going to have sex with Nick to win him back." I decided to take a page out of her book, and flick back my hair. Expectantly, my plan to look superior backfired and my darn hair got stuck in my darn ring. Darn it.

"Why not?" She whined, huffily stomping her converse-clad left foot, all over my favourite pair of floral shorts, may I just add. "You know it's the perfect way to like, claim your territory."

"I want my first time with Nick to be special Dem, and besides, winning him back by sex is cheap and I'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life and then I'll just die guilty too and then on my tomb, it will say, "Died Guilty"." I explained my spectacular explanation to her. I've always had a nack for explaining things. I'm seriously considering being a teacher, to spread the joy.

More like killjoy. My middle name is practically killjoy.

Maybe that's why Nick wants to be with Penny! Because she isn't a killjoy. Maybe the reason he's tired of me is because I won't have sex with him. Maybe she's willing to, and that's why he's so into her all of a sudden.

Wait, am I now considering having sex with him just to compete with the big-boobed blond bimbo? I need help. I mean, I already thought I'd needed help when I was considering getting a boob-job to compete with her, but this... this is a whole new level of insane!

I wish I'd just quit thinking.

"Miley stop thinking." Demi ordered, recognizing the signs immediately. See, it's like I'm a mental case. "Miley if you don't stop thinking right this _second _I'll slap you silly."

This sure scared the living bunny rabbits out of me. Yes, there are rabbits living in me. I hope you are jealous. "I've stopped thinking!" I exclaimed a little too loudly, because only seconds later my darling mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs for me to keep it down. My family loves me dearly.

"Good. I get quite scared for your health when you start thinking." She laughed.

Everyone thinks I'm a mental case.

Great.

Just great.

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

"Miley, Nick is here." My wonderful, caring mother screamed down from the bottom of the staircase. "And I'm leaving for work now, have fun sweetheart."

"Tell him I'm coming, and bye!" I screamed back, while continuing to attempt to curl my hair, which, I'll admit, isn't exactly going according to plan.

I heard the door slam shut, indicating my mum had left. "Miles, can I come up?" he asked, in a much more, how do I put it... more controlled tone of voice, compared to how my mum and I had speaking merely minutes before.

Now, I was about to reply to him, but instead a frighteningly high-pitched scream escaped my lips instead. You might be wondering why.

Well.

There is a chance that I, Miley Ray, might have, maybe, well, burnt my hand with my curling iron.

My life really is the equivalent to a bowl full of chocolate-dipped strawberries.

I heard Nick run up the stairs while I continued to cry and scream, all while pacing my room and shaking my hand like a mad person because I found the pain unbearable.

"Hey, what happened?" I heard him say behind my cries, clearly slightly breathless. "Are you okay?"

"I burnt my fucking hand, and it fucking kills, ugh!" I continued to whine, and cry, and pace my room. So much for trying to show Nick that he still loves me. My loserness has no limit.

"Calm down Miles." He said softly, grabbing my arm by the wrist. "You need to put it under cold water or it'll get worse." And with that, he dragged me into my adjoining bathroom and stuck my hand under the tap.

"That hurts even more!" I screamed, while the little person inside my head told me to shut the fuck up, but of course, I never, ever listen to the vaguely smart part of my brain.

Ever.

He ignored my screaming, and continued simply stroking my hair with one hand, while the other was tightly wrapped around me. I didn't even notice.

But now that I do, I feel like I'm going to faint. See, this is why I'm such a loser. He's just _touching _me and I'm practically under his spell.

Another thing I hadn't noticed until now, I'd been full on sobbing, and there was still tears streaking down my cheeks. I guess that's my make-up ruined, but on the bright side, at least I wasn't wearing foundation.

On the negative side, which, I'll admit, is my best friend, and I'm pretty sure I looked like a panda bear right now.

"Can I take it out now?" I asked him.

"I don't think you should yet." He looked like he was thinking. "Do you have any burn cream?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Any plasters?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, then nodded to the cabinet by my shower. "There should be some in there."

In the next half an hour, Nick put a plaster on my burn, tight, as I requested, so it didn't hurt as much, my crying had stopped, I had redone my make-up, and all that was left was to find a suitable coat to wear.

"Can I ask, how did you manage to burn yourself?" Nick asked, while helping me put on my black pea coat.

It was time to face the embarrassing facts. I'd been expecting this question, but my face still decided to resemble a tomato when he asked. "I was trying to curl my hair... and I wasn't entirely sure which hand I was supposed to put the glove thing on, so I just left it off." I'd thought it was impossible for my face to get even hotter, but it happened, because, as I always say, the universe is against me. "In my defence, I thought my decision was justified... at the time."

He laughed.

Okay, I was expecting that too, but it still hurt. A bit. I don't like being laughed at for my stupidity, even though it happens a lot, so I guess I should be used to it.

"Your such an idiot Mile." Now, before you judge me, and assume I'm a doormat, or whatever it is, I was originally planning on defending myself, though, I'll admit, it would've been a pointless argument that I would've lost, but it was at that moment that he chose to put his arm around me and pull me into him.

I died. No exaggeration, I just died. I got weak in the knees, my mind went blank, and I literally almost just passed out. My lame-ness has no limit, as you can see.

And then he told me he loved me.

Oh my.

Contemplating whether I'm going to make it to this dance in one piece.

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

"Miley!" Joe waved me over as Nick and I stepped foot into the dance hall.

Perfect timing.

I smiled, and waved back, before quickly glancing over at Nick, who didn't look happy. "You okay?" I asked innocently.

"Er, yeah, fine." He stuttered out, looking lost for words.

"Okay then. I guess I'm going to go see what Joe wanted." I said, slowly turning around with crossed fingers, hoping that he would stop me.

"W-wait." He said quickly. "Do you want to dance?"

At this moment of time, I felt like my heart was going to burst with joy. Nick wants me again, no Penny in sight, Joe actually being useful for once. Life makes me happy. "Sure."

So he took my hand, and we danced. Then, my luck played up, and My Girl by The Temptations came on, which Nick insisted we slow danced to, and then another song we liked came on, and another, and so on. We spent almost the entire night dancing, laughing, talking, and of course, the occasional kissing and making out by the punch table.

Just as the night was about to end, Penny darling made an appearance.

"Nick, hey!" She exclaimed, draping him in a hug. "Where have you been all night? I was looking for you."

Ahem. It's like I'm invisible.

"I've been with Miley all night, and we've had a great night, how was yours?" He asked, glancing over at me voluntarily, with a reassuring smile.

"I hung out with my friends, so pretty good, yeah. I'm glad you had a good night, but I have to get going now. Oh, and don't forget, you promised me a piano lesson tomorrow!" She said, in a perfectly civil manner, but in my mind, she sounded like a screeching banshee. "See you tomorrow morning." She gave him a peck on the cheek, before exiting.

"Piano lesson?" I asked, carefully, as I didn't want to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

He squeezed my hand. "Er yeah, she asked if I could teach her, and well, I'm free tomorrow morning. It's nothing you know, she's just really serious about her music."

"Right." I nodded, rolling my eyes inside my head. "Okay. That's great."

Really great.

Step four accomplished, kind of.

Time for step five.

**- H o w T o W i n Y o u r B o y f r i e n d B a c k -**

er hello. Anyone there? Anyone at all? So, yeah, I'm sure nobody reads this any more, since the last time I updated was last summer, and for that I apologize. I guess you could say I've been on hiatus for the past six months/year, but I prefer the term laziness. I'm back now though, I really am, I swear. Year Nine has been pretty busy, but it's been really good. I just finished my exam week, except my english exam which is on wednesday, wish me luck please! I'm going to update tons in Summer, I promise. I'll be posting the final chapter of The Popularity Contest soon, (please go review on the last chapter I posted please,) and I plan on finishing this story by the end of summer, if I go by my plan. Like I said at the start, this is only going to be like a ten chapter story. So yes, my greatest apologies, please review, and please review the new chapter of the popularity contest!x


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